while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
