is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
