the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
