school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
me + whiskey = a bad person
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
