I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Randomize
