i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
