Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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