I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
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