I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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