There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
