I hate your face
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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