Jerry, you need to find god
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
