i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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