Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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