Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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