There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
