I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i think my mom watched the whole time
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Randomize
