I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
