So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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