I'll bet she douches with gravy.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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