playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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