I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
