you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
