dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Randomize
