I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
Randomize
