Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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