the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Randomize
