are you so shy because you have an std?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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