Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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