I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
