it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
