kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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