The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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