god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Randomize
