Are we in a gay sports bar?
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
