He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
