Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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