I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Randomize
