let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
