I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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