i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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