i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
