So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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