tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
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