i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
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