Whats the glycemic index on semen?
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
