You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
