everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
