i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm passing your future prison.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize