so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
the day after is always just damage control
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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